A Labeled Society
Chronicles of a Sober Life
Ever think about who you really are? Like the person without your labels? I do. I’ve thought about it a lot. When I was first asked this question many years ago, when I started my real estate career, by one of my first coaches, I automatically started firing off labels,
“Well, I’m a mother, a real estate agent, an entrepreneur, a writer, etc.,” I answered him. He responded, “Emily, those are things you do; they aren’t who you are.”
“I don’t understand the question, then?”
“Who are you, Emily, without the labels society has given you?” He pushed.
I started getting upset and pushed back, “I don’t know what you’re asking?”
We did this push and pull for a few more minutes, and then he said,
“Emily, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. That’s it, that’s who you are. That’s all any of us are.” I struggled with this idea at the beginning of my self-awakening experience.
I wanted to believe I was all the things I did in life. I put so much weight on who society thought me to be, which were all my labels, i.e., mother, daughter, alcoholic, domestic violence survivor, real estate agent, broker, wife, PTSD suffer, ADHD suffer, victim, writer, self-publisher, recovered catholic, spiritual, yogi, runner, health nut, hypochondriac, dance mom, Gigi, etc. The list goes on and on as I have aged.
Society tags us all with more labels as it tries to fit us into categories so that it can assess and judge us and decide for us if we’re successful or failing at this thing called life that we’re all “doing.” And the labels are getting more ridiculous as we evolve, even to the point of making our language pronouns part of our labeling. Or even the new wave of “I’m not going to be labeled or categorized ” is now known as the “non-binary” label. It doesn’t matter how much we try to disassociate with the labels; they make labels anyway.
As I’ve worked through my own experience with these labels and the labels society has assigned to me over the years, I’ve come to believe that what that first coach taught me is true: I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and I have creative control over what I do with all these labels.
I’ve also noticed that I can decide how to use my assigned labels. I have choices. I can choose to use the labels as excuses or as assets. For example, I was diagnosed at age fifty with ADHD, and at first, I took this as a disability. Then, I began to see what a blessing having ADHD is in my life. It was validating to know that I genuinely do think differently than others, but I always knew that part. Moreover, having ADHD has allowed my creative juices to flow constantly.
I learned how to meditate and quiet my mind, way before I was diagnosed. I never wanted to conform to society anyway. That was never a desire of mine to be like everyone else. I thought everyone could see movies in their minds, but I’m learning now that it’s part of this label’s gift that allows me to write better. My imagination is off the hook. I may be a daydreamer and have trouble sitting still sometimes, but I also have a creative flow that allows me to see the world in a way that can help others feel loved, heard, seen, and understood.
In my seasoned experience on this earth, I have also noticed that labels like President, CEO, Owner, Professor, Teacher, Priest, Pope, King, Queen, Regional Sales Director, Celebrity, Dictator, Therapist, Millionaire, Influencer, etc. have falsely put humans on pedestals of power, knowledge, prestige, that other humans bow to naturally taking an inferior stance, where they have trusted the label more than their own “sixth sense” of spiritual guidance, and have put themselves in positions to be hurt by these labels. I’ve been guilty of this myself.
As I move through this experience, I’m learning that being human is the highest level anyone will ever achieve. None of us will ever be more than a spiritual being having a human experience. None of us will take these labels or achievements with us when we transition out of this human experience. When I keep this perspective at the forefront of my mind, and I understand that I’m an eternal being, it helps me to see that we’re all on an equal playing field, and nothing serious (even death) is ever going on.
You can choose how you want to use your labels while you’re here. I’m trying to use mine as assets, not excuses. I’m practicing using my “sixth-sense” guidance system to make my life-experience decisions instead of trusting other humans with fancy labels that ultimately mean nothing.