I wasn’t always Emily Blossom. In hindsight, I can see that Emily Blossom was always in the making. Everything I was experiencing in my life up until this point ultimately led me to the creation and manifestation of Ms. Blossom.
In September of 2016, I was about to turn 42 years old. I was unhappy in my life, in my second marriage of ten years. Looking at my life from the outside, it appeared like I had it all, the big house, a successful real estate career, three beautiful boys, a loving husband, toys, cars, etc. But on the inside, I was falling apart. My second husband was suffering from untreated depression and anxiety. I was suffering from untreated Alcoholism.
I decided to take myself on a three-day silent retreat for my birthday in the La Sal Mountains, of Utah, right outside Moab, Utah. Ultimately, I wanted space to decide whether to stay in this failing marriage or throw in the towel. We had already separated three times over the past couple of years and had gotten back together. My physical health started to suffer, and I was losing control of my drinking. There was so much pressure on me as the breadwinner of the family.
During this retreat, I had two epiphanies. The first was I was ready to throw in the towel on this marriage and start a new one on my own. And the second was that I wanted to call myself Emily Blossom. I started thinking about this name, writing it down, and seeing how it sat with me. I loved it. It felt fun and freeing. I felt free from the ownership of a man’s name. At this point in my life, I already had three different man’s sir names: my father, my first husband, and now my second husband.
So, I started acting “as if” I was already Emily Blossom in my mind’s eye. I imagined what I looked like, acted like, “who this new woman was all about .”I even told two of my best friends I was considering changing my name. They both laughed at me. They thought it was silly. I didn’t care what people thought; I wanted my own name.
But there was a setback in the manifestation of Emily Blossom because I met my soon-to-be third husband shortly after this self-awareness and the beginning of recreating myself. We fell in love quickly, too quickly. We were married within six months of meeting. Yeah, I know. It was a shit-show marriage; more on that later. The point of this story is he insisted I change my name again. I didn’t want to. I fought it with him for another six months.
Ultimately, he won the argument because it made him uncomfortable that I had another man’s name. It wasn’t his name, nor was it my maiden name. It belonged to another man altogether. It didn’t matter that this was “my name” for the last twelve years now and the name of my youngest son.
So, I changed my name yet again. The thing about women being married and divorced multiple times is everyone knows your business because you have to keep changing your name. I have to ask; why are we still doing this to women today? In the past, it was because it was a sign of ownership for the men, right? But today, we women have our independence. I don’t want to have a man’s name. I wanted my own identity.
Anyway, now here I am in my fourth identity. Which, I was hoping, was going to be my last, but the universe had a different plan. As fate would have it, this marriage only lasted three long years.
When I was going through this divorce, I asked my attorney to write the name Emily Blossom on the divorce papers to the judge to get his approval for the change. My attorney also laughed at me and said I couldn’t do that. I had to either return to one of my old or maiden names. That made no sense to me. I fired my attorney and filed all the papers myself. On the bottom line of the divorce decree, when it asked me what I wanted my name to be, there were no rules or guidelines accompanying the question, which left it wide open for me to write whatever I wanted. I inserted Emily Blossom.
I received the signed divorce decree from the judge in my email on Valentine’s Day, 2020. How ironic, huh? The day Emily Blossom was born into the manifested world was on the day of love. I loved it.
Everyone around me was initially fascinated as to why I chose that name. Why would I change my name, to begin with? Why wouldn’t I go back to my maiden name? Some thought I got married again and were surprised when I said, “No, I got divorced, not married.”
There was so much conversation around my name change; it was crazy. People at work started calling me “Awesome Blossom,” which I hadn’t made that connection. But it was fun. I liked it. Honestly, I was surprised how many people thought they had an opinion about my name. My family didn’t believe me. I had to send my sister a picture of my driver’s license to prove it was legal. No one understood why I did it, and that’s okay.
There’s nothing really to understand. It’s simple. I wanted a name that belonged to me. A name that represented who I truly am in this world. I wanted a fresh start. It’s a chance to recreate and redefine who I really am with no strings attached. And now, I get to create who I want to be.
Emily Blossom was born on Valentine’s Day of 2020. She’s here to make a difference in the world. I wrote a poem about my name change; I’ll share it here.
Always Choose love,
Apple Blossoms, Cherry Blossoms, Banana Blossoms,
Every seed has a time for blossoming:
Whether it be the birds and the bees
Or Mom and dad
A farmer planting or a mother nature phenomenon
Every life starts with a seed…
The seed itself has the choice and free will
To grow or not to grow
Upon the choice of growth
Infancy, fertilization, Incubation,
Growth, blossoming, and death
During its growth, the seed experiences
Good times and bad
Sickness and health
Riches and poverty
Immaturity and maturity
The Crazy Transformation of Life
Till death due it part
But if the seed makes it through self-evolution of its own life,
It will Blossom and bare fruit
For the whole world to love and appreciate.